What I brought back with me:

Well, I have either started making better decisions or my skill of hiding my poor ones have drastically improved. This is the first year I was actually able to go on somebody else's family vacation with them, yes, that means not "falling in love" with their older siblings the week before or making various other less then reasonable choices. I was happy I was able to go - I brought a lot back with me.

People do move on after you leave:
Whether it is you just going away on vacation, moving to some far off land, or even death - people tend to, over time, forget about your existence. Your most prominent texting buddy starts sending messages less and less - of course so do you. I, for one, love this. To come back and meet people again for the very first time, despite going to school with them for four years. And that my dear, is not something you can just wake up one morning and do (you have to be gone for sometime in between. (which raises my question, "what about the people who are mentally 'checked out'?" Will they too get to meet everyone for the first time again when they check back in, or do the people they see everyday make a new first impression constantly?))
I almost started a second header named: 'Once a relationship is started it is not as easy to change.' But that would be the very same thing as this, now wouldn't it? So I won't, they all do tie into each other in the end, any-who.

Over time no matter how 'ordinary' something gets, at one point it completely blew your mind.
(this all reminds me of Robert Forst's, 'Nothing Gold Can Stay.' Look it up)
We were simply driving over a river and located right there in the middle there was a little island. We all looked at it in amazement, as if water by land by even more water was some ground breaking concept. However, on the ride home it was none too important. Watching it pass the 2nd time I am sure will be like watching it pass for the 86th time, unless some magic is restored in mankind. Sure, I smiled when we passed. All things fade. Thoughts, feelings, even people. We all fade - and it's scary. To be frank (or even Polly), it is fucking terrifying. But I love it! In the end, we are all ordinary people. No one can hold on to those 'extraordinary moments' - we can only hold to feel them to their fullness, and that is what I hope to do!
So, Life, blow my mind!

Like caregiver like child:
You could be sitting next to them in a crowded restaurant or they could even live next door, but more then likely the closest one you know is you yourself. Children truly are the molds of their parents. I hate to say that, mostly because I hate to admit it, but it is in fact true. They are the ones who not only teach us to think but how to think and I am sure many would argue they also teach us what to think as well, and I am sure that many would be right (in many cases). Genetics, sure. That one is a given. But what about there response to certain people or certain situations? Perhaps there is more genetics at play then once thought - or perhaps there is some deep level of psychology that I have yet to fully discover. I hope that is the case - I really want to find out why. It was strange watching the two of them. They are so much a like. For personal reasons I won't go into it here, but if I had half a mind I would. (Not for some 'revenge type' reason rather I tend to forget a lot anymore. But - hey, there is no use holding on to anything that didn't make a completely remember-able impact, now is there?)
After years of living with someone, older people tend to look like their lovers due to subconsciously mimicking their expressions and habits. Often times it is the same with people and animals. I realize that this is the case here - but I still hope it could be something much more.


No matter where you go you will always find something that reminds you of the person you are trying so hard to forget.
It could be a Ted Nugent song that you hated the first time it was played (R) or the people in the booth behind you saying something that you once said to someone else (J). In the end, the people you want to be thinking about the least are the once you end up thinking about most often. Maybe if one stops trying to forget about them they will be more successful in their attempt.
*note to self:LISTEN TO OWN ADVISE*

Sometimes when people go away they are not really gone. They kind of linger there.
On the turnpike there was this boy on a missing poster. He has disappeared in the late '80s, but before I even comprehended what I was looking at I felt as if he was familiar. Looking at the photo, I knew so much about him. Not posting his name will be the best, I don't want to give his family false hope if they were ever to see this. I would give anything to give them the closer or the answers that I am sure they so desperately need - however, I am not able to do so. He is still out there - be it living or not. He is lingering and that much I know for certain I feel.

-gool.